I'm one of the people who commented to pegkerr, and I have four kids (now 21, 21, 17, and 14--the two who are 21 are 7-1/2 months apart). That means that at one time we had 3 kids under age 5, and later 4 kids under age 10, and 3 teenagers at a time for several years. Do I know about stuff? Yes, I do.
My husband and I have always tried to treat our kids as individual humans first, as our kids (that is, part of the unit we call "our family") second, and as people of a certain age last, if at all. For that reason as well as some others, we have tried to give them as much control of their own lives as possible at every age.
Since my husband and I did not want to give each other the power to tell the other than the other must get rid of possessions (or to simply throw out the other's possessions), we also did not take on the power to tell our kids that they had to get rid of possessions.
I'm not urging this viewpoint on others, just presenting it as one that seems to have worked very well for one family.
no subject
My husband and I have always tried to treat our kids as individual humans first, as our kids (that is, part of the unit we call "our family") second, and as people of a certain age last, if at all. For that reason as well as some others, we have tried to give them as much control of their own lives as possible at every age.
Since my husband and I did not want to give each other the power to tell the other than the other must get rid of possessions (or to simply throw out the other's possessions), we also did not take on the power to tell our kids that they had to get rid of possessions.
I'm not urging this viewpoint on others, just presenting it as one that seems to have worked very well for one family.