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naomikritzerI had chronic insomnia as a kid. Then at some point during or after college, it went away. I'd go to bed and fall asleep within about ten minutes.
In the last year, the insomnia came back. Not every night, but still. Last night was really bad. I went to bed at 1 a.m. At 2 a.m., Kiera woke up. I was still wide awake, and having her in bed with me makes it harder for me to get to sleep, so rather than bringing her in with me, I got up and nursed her back to sleep. She went back down at 2:45 a.m. I went back to bed. She got up again shortly after 3 a.m. This time I just brought her into bed. Oddly, she didn't ask to nurse, so I just laid her down next to me and tried again to get to sleep, but every time she'd poke me or kick me it would wake me right back up. At around 4 a.m. I pushed her over more towards Ed's side of the bed. Shortly after that it became clear that she was also wide awake: she sat up and just kind of hung out, sitting up, in bed. At 4:15 a.m, Ed got up with her and took her somewhere else.
At some point after that, I fell asleep. Ed brought Kiera back in at 5 a.m. -- or she came in and threw a fit when he tried to take her out again, I don't really remember. I nursed her at that point, and Ed came back to bed, too, though I'm not actually sure whether he was able to get any more sleep. Once I've fallen asleep I can usually go back to sleep, no problem, so I went right back to sleep until 8:30 a.m. when my alarm went off.
Insomnia sucks. Most nights that I have it, I wake up feeling okay despite the shortened night's sleep, but mostly I get to sleep well before 4 :30 a.m. I know that some of the things I do are making it worse, but in each case I don't have much choice.
* I don't go to bed at the same time each night. However, I can't go to bed until Keira goes to bed, and she is unpredictable in the hours she keeps.
* I use the computer before bedtime. Late at night is currently the only time I have to write.
* Even after realizing that I'm not going to be able to fall asleep, I usually stay in bed. If Kiera is in bed with me, I have to, or she'll wake up.
* I think my habit of eating a bedtime snack may be exacerbating the problem, but I usually get hungry around then, and if I don't eat, the hunger keeps me awake. I'm sure it's not good that I eat chocolate late at night, but dammit, I want to be able to sit down and enjoy a leisurely treat every now and then without my kids trying to steal it from me, and I can only do that after they are in bed and Kiera doesn't go to bed until eleven most of the time.
* I can't take sleeping pills, because it's dangerous to share a bed with a small child if you're medicated. Also, I have not had good luck with sleeping pills: Ambien made me hallucinate when I took it while in labor, and even if it hadn't, it made me so nonfunctional that in a fire or other emergency I would be helpless and unable to get myself out of the house, let alone my kids. I want to be able to get to sleep, but I also NEED to be able to wake up.
I apologize if this is incoherent. I feel lousy today.
In the last year, the insomnia came back. Not every night, but still. Last night was really bad. I went to bed at 1 a.m. At 2 a.m., Kiera woke up. I was still wide awake, and having her in bed with me makes it harder for me to get to sleep, so rather than bringing her in with me, I got up and nursed her back to sleep. She went back down at 2:45 a.m. I went back to bed. She got up again shortly after 3 a.m. This time I just brought her into bed. Oddly, she didn't ask to nurse, so I just laid her down next to me and tried again to get to sleep, but every time she'd poke me or kick me it would wake me right back up. At around 4 a.m. I pushed her over more towards Ed's side of the bed. Shortly after that it became clear that she was also wide awake: she sat up and just kind of hung out, sitting up, in bed. At 4:15 a.m, Ed got up with her and took her somewhere else.
At some point after that, I fell asleep. Ed brought Kiera back in at 5 a.m. -- or she came in and threw a fit when he tried to take her out again, I don't really remember. I nursed her at that point, and Ed came back to bed, too, though I'm not actually sure whether he was able to get any more sleep. Once I've fallen asleep I can usually go back to sleep, no problem, so I went right back to sleep until 8:30 a.m. when my alarm went off.
Insomnia sucks. Most nights that I have it, I wake up feeling okay despite the shortened night's sleep, but mostly I get to sleep well before 4 :30 a.m. I know that some of the things I do are making it worse, but in each case I don't have much choice.
* I don't go to bed at the same time each night. However, I can't go to bed until Keira goes to bed, and she is unpredictable in the hours she keeps.
* I use the computer before bedtime. Late at night is currently the only time I have to write.
* Even after realizing that I'm not going to be able to fall asleep, I usually stay in bed. If Kiera is in bed with me, I have to, or she'll wake up.
* I think my habit of eating a bedtime snack may be exacerbating the problem, but I usually get hungry around then, and if I don't eat, the hunger keeps me awake. I'm sure it's not good that I eat chocolate late at night, but dammit, I want to be able to sit down and enjoy a leisurely treat every now and then without my kids trying to steal it from me, and I can only do that after they are in bed and Kiera doesn't go to bed until eleven most of the time.
* I can't take sleeping pills, because it's dangerous to share a bed with a small child if you're medicated. Also, I have not had good luck with sleeping pills: Ambien made me hallucinate when I took it while in labor, and even if it hadn't, it made me so nonfunctional that in a fire or other emergency I would be helpless and unable to get myself out of the house, let alone my kids. I want to be able to get to sleep, but I also NEED to be able to wake up.
I apologize if this is incoherent. I feel lousy today.
