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But which one has the best parties?
Jul. 6th, 2006 11:46 pmMy grandmother, who turns 82 later this month, mentioned to my parents about a week ago that she has decided that she should probably move into an assisted living community. She lives in Ohio, but would like to move to a community up here: I live here (along with Ed, Molly, and Kiera); my sister ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
springbok1 lives in town; my parents live here about half the time. She initially said that she'd be ready to do it a year from now, but in a conversation a few days later it sounded like she was hoping to move by the end of the year.
I was really surprised to hear this. I had figured she would never voluntarily move out of her house.
So for the last couple of days, I have been calling up assisted living and independent living facilities.
What boggles my mind a bit is the variety. I had figured that "assisted living" would mean something fairly specific. It doesn't. Neither does "independent living," or "senior housing with services." There is no going rate (I've heard prices ranging from $950 a month to $3000 a month). There is no consistent menu of services. But hardest of all is trying to gauge the feel -- the personality of each place -- over the phone.
These aren't nursing homes, just to be clear. (Those are called "skilled nursing facilities" now.) Though there are places that ride the line -- there's a nursing home in town that advertises under assisted living because they rent little suites where you have a private room with your own bathroom and a lounge area; there's also an assisted living place that does much more of the medication management and personal care than most other assisted living places.
Anyway, the process reminds me of choosing a college. I knew the basic environment I wanted (a competetive liberal arts school) and beyond that, I wanted a place with a personality I liked, a group of students I found congenial. It helps, with colleges, that they try to show their personalities up front. (One somewhat extreme example: a school in Missouri sent me a brochure that looked like a giant postcard with text that said "Dear Friend -- Gosh, summer's going GREAT! My tan looks awesome, and it's just party, party, party all the time! Wanna come visit? Your friend, Mindy." No, I didn't visit Mindy.) Retirement communities do give some clues -- some have pictures of golfers and give off a country club sort of air just from the ads, for instance. But by and large, they try to sound like they're going to be all things to all people and ANYONE would be happy there.
My grandmother is a sweet lady who will make the best of any situation she finds herself in. But she'll be happier if she's around people who enjoy similar things: she likes walks and Bible study, dogs and gardening, people with a sense of humor. She's not into Bingo, though I'm sure some of her friends play. I don't think she's ever set foot in a casino in her life, and she never played golf, though back when my grandfather was alive, she used to love going camping, canoeing, and fishing with him.
Anyway. I've made a bunch of preliminary phone calls; next, I'm going to schedule some tours, since you can't really know what a place is like (or if the food is edible) without going in person. We're not going to choose for my grandmother -- we're going to try to winnow it down to maybe three places, so that Grammie can visit a manageable number, and make her choice from there.
springbok1 lives in town; my parents live here about half the time. She initially said that she'd be ready to do it a year from now, but in a conversation a few days later it sounded like she was hoping to move by the end of the year. I was really surprised to hear this. I had figured she would never voluntarily move out of her house.
So for the last couple of days, I have been calling up assisted living and independent living facilities.
What boggles my mind a bit is the variety. I had figured that "assisted living" would mean something fairly specific. It doesn't. Neither does "independent living," or "senior housing with services." There is no going rate (I've heard prices ranging from $950 a month to $3000 a month). There is no consistent menu of services. But hardest of all is trying to gauge the feel -- the personality of each place -- over the phone.
These aren't nursing homes, just to be clear. (Those are called "skilled nursing facilities" now.) Though there are places that ride the line -- there's a nursing home in town that advertises under assisted living because they rent little suites where you have a private room with your own bathroom and a lounge area; there's also an assisted living place that does much more of the medication management and personal care than most other assisted living places.
Anyway, the process reminds me of choosing a college. I knew the basic environment I wanted (a competetive liberal arts school) and beyond that, I wanted a place with a personality I liked, a group of students I found congenial. It helps, with colleges, that they try to show their personalities up front. (One somewhat extreme example: a school in Missouri sent me a brochure that looked like a giant postcard with text that said "Dear Friend -- Gosh, summer's going GREAT! My tan looks awesome, and it's just party, party, party all the time! Wanna come visit? Your friend, Mindy." No, I didn't visit Mindy.) Retirement communities do give some clues -- some have pictures of golfers and give off a country club sort of air just from the ads, for instance. But by and large, they try to sound like they're going to be all things to all people and ANYONE would be happy there.
My grandmother is a sweet lady who will make the best of any situation she finds herself in. But she'll be happier if she's around people who enjoy similar things: she likes walks and Bible study, dogs and gardening, people with a sense of humor. She's not into Bingo, though I'm sure some of her friends play. I don't think she's ever set foot in a casino in her life, and she never played golf, though back when my grandfather was alive, she used to love going camping, canoeing, and fishing with him.
Anyway. I've made a bunch of preliminary phone calls; next, I'm going to schedule some tours, since you can't really know what a place is like (or if the food is edible) without going in person. We're not going to choose for my grandmother -- we're going to try to winnow it down to maybe three places, so that Grammie can visit a manageable number, and make her choice from there.
