The Mama Zone

[naomikritzer]

Kiera has two pairs of favorite socks: both are fleece and multicolored. They were in the wash today. Previously she has been willing to wear other socks if the favorite socks were nowhere at all visible, but today she was not. This was a problem, as we were going out. I had bought a little pack of five pairs of Valentines-themed novelty socks at Target on Wednesday, hoping that what she wanted was "interesting socks" rather than "striped fleece." No dice. I offered a pair of plain fleece. No. No no no no no no NO.

She wanted to wear mittens on her feet. We have this pair of blue fleece mittens I picked up for a dollar last spring; they have Ariel from The Little Mermaid on them. They will fit on her feet but they don't keep her ankles very warm. However, she was quite insistent, so I put the mittens on her feet, put the shoes on over her mittens, and off we went. No one noticed.

She is now wearing them to bed, over the feet of her footie pajamas.

Fortunately, I was in the Mama Zone for most of the day.



Although for the most part, the Girlfriends' Guide books were not written for an audience of Me (they were written for my Aunt Sue), the toddler book does contain one line I have found very helpful. Surrender to Baby Time. With a young kid, it's all about the journey. If you take a little kid to a shopping mall, they aren't interested in rushing from J.C. Penneys to Sears, no matter how much you think you need to compare coats and prices. They want to stop and study the fountain, throw coins in, sit on the ledge, touch the water. They want to browse in the mattress store because they like the idea of trying out beds. They want to hop from tan diamond to tan diamond while carefully avoiding all tiles of other colors. And if you can let go of your need to be efficient, if you can surrender to baby-time, toddler-time, preschooler-time, your kid will have a great afternoon.

I was a whole lot better with this sort of thing back when I only had one kid. Now that I have two, this is so hard. Because the things they want to examine and experience are so rarely within arms' reach of each other, and I have to keep track of both of them. So when we go out, I feel like I spend the whole time either grabbing Kiera and dragging her away from the thing that interests here (while she screams), or trying to rush Molly along to catch up with Kiera. It's not usually as simple as putting Kiera in her stroller because she wants to get out. I end up frazzled and grumpy and stressed out and turning into one of those horrid mothers who barks "hurry up! HURRY UP!" at her four-year-old while holding her kicking, screaming toddler under one arm.

Today was a good day, though. For whatever reason, I was in the Mama Zone. Molly wanted to choose orange bell peppers as a side vegetable for dinner; we settled on brussels sprouts, with a single orange bell pepper bought as an appetizer instead. (Molly wanted the orange bell peppers because she'd never had one before. I'm pretty sure she has, actually, but she couldn't remember it.) We arrived in Highland at 4:30 p.m. and Molly asked me when we were going to get her hair cut; Kid's Hair was, of course, booked solid that time of day, so I considered alternatives and she got to have a haircut at Cost Cutters instead. I got to bask in the admiration of the Food Sample Lady at Lunds when both my kids enthusiastically devoured the sample of salmon. ("You would be amazed at how many parents say, 'well, okay, you can try this but it's fish so you probably won't like it,'" she said. Yes! I will take affirmation of my parenting skills from anyone. Anyone at all.)

I think the key thing was that Kiera fell asleep in her stroller while we were in the Richfield Rainbow (yes, we went to two grocery stores in our marathon of errands -- don't ask), so I didn't have a screaming, miserable toddler to worry about. Molly wanted to know what was on the grocery list, so I could stop and read her the entire list, and explain to her why I'd crossed things off, since she wanted to know, and I didn't have to worry about the ticking time bomb that is Kiera in a stroller.

I used to swear that I didn't experience Maternal Guilt, but I was lying. No matter what I'm doing with my kids, I have a constant, nagging feeling that I really ought to be doing something else. Today, it was the feeling that we really should be going to a playground because today was beautiful, and instead we were running errands. But... well, it's a lot easier to run errands when it's pleasant out, first of all. And we needed to go to Michael's because I needed to buy materials for Molly to make Valentines. And I did let them play at an indoor playground (at the Burger King next to Michael's) for an hour, and unlike the real playground, the indoor one was dry. Which is helpful when one of your children wants to wear her coat-coat everywhere and screams bloody murder if, God forbid, someone tries to put a snowsuit on her.

Anyway. It was a good day. Molly got her hair cut and no longer has to wear a swim cap when we swim at Dowling. We came home with all the groceries on our list, plus a variety of new craft materials and two economical pairs of used ice skates, one in Molly's size, one in mine.

And it really doesn't bother me that my toddler is wearing mittens on her feet to bed.

Really.

Someone please reassure me that she will outgrow this...

Comments

[pegkerr.livejournal.com]

I've been astounded to discover how long the Weird Footwear thing continues. I have been having a low-grade argument with Fiona all week that really, she would be better served not to wear black ankle socks with capri pants while up on stage at the Ted Mann Concert Hall during the Concert Thang this week. But she has insisted that is what she wants to wear. And being an experienced mommy, I let her win. Because you're right. It's not important enough to matter.

I too, am wondering whether she will outgrow this. She is eleven.

[porphyrin.livejournal.com]

With Robin, it's all about the *not* wearing of clothing.

We can be all bundled up, and he's stripping down to his diaper or underwear, happily running around the house.

The Mommy Zone is a great place to be, but really? Like you said, there's no way to get away from the guilt.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I find it totally reasonable to go to two grocery stores in one afternoon, Lund's/Byerly's and Somewhere Else. It doesn't happen every week here, but at least once a month.